Rainy Day Reflections...

Recently I had the pleasure of joining a group of friends in encouraging and praying over a sweet family who are about to leave the comforts of the "American Dream" for the blessings of obedience. Their story was initiated by families who faithfully grounded them in a knowledge of God. Marriage and two children later, they felt the call to open their home to an orphan from Ethiopia. This journey into a life very different than their own opened their eyes to the "Hole in the Gospel" many have experienced. Many questions flooded their minds as they dove into God's word seeking what being a "Christian" actually means. God ordained appointments flooded their lives over and over. Now, in less than a month, they will be traveling with their 3 children and a mere 10 Rubbermaid containers of "stuff" to Ecuador for full time mission work. Eventually, they expect to move from the "city" area of this country to the jungle to teach, disciple and live out the Christian life without the distractions of the once beloved search for the "American Dream".

As I sat their listening, I was overwhelmed by my selfish thoughts of wanting to experience this for myself. Thoughts of animosity over Chris' health flooded my mind, "why God! Why are we constrained by this stupid disease and the aftermath of surgeries". Feelings of entitlement that I DESPISE! are readily available. Joy for this family was placed on the back-burner because of the self serving pity party I was having in my head.

Why can't I get this right? Why can't I accept the new creation that I am in Christ? Why can't I be who I am and serve where He has placed me rather than always wanting what someone else has? Why can't I have this gift or that gift rather than praising Him for the talents He has given me?

I know this may sound CRAZY for any who know me well... But I have been in a "women's study" throughout the summer. For those who don't understand why that would be crazy just know I have rebelled against the "Women's Ministry" as I have known it. My baggage: I once approached a "Women's Ministry" about serving as mentors for women coming out of prison - part of an internship I was doing back in 2003. I presented the opportunity to a leader and well, never heard back from them. I know the failure of my argument against "Women's Ministry" but the truth is, as with all my other soapboxes, I surrounded myself with people who fueled my fire rather than with those who would encourage me toward Holiness in Christ. Ok, anyway... We have been reading a book by Francis Frangipane called "Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God". A few excerpts from this book include:

"A Holy Man is a Humble Man"
"A hypocrite, therefore, is one who refuses to admit he is, at times, two-faced, thereby pretending a righteousness that he fails to live."
"Anyone can judge, but can you save?"
"In the kingdom of God, unless you are first committed to die for people, you are not permitted to judge them."
"We know we are relating correctly to God when our hunger for His glory causes us to forsake the praise of men."
"When we speak for ourselves and of ourselves, are we not seeking to solicit from men the praise that belongs only to God?"
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13"
"Sadly, many Christians have no higher goal, no greater aspiration, than to become 'normal'."
"...our sense of reality - and hence our security - is often rooted in the familiar. How difficult it is to grow spiritually if our security is based upon the stability of outward things."
"Consider that certain prisoners are repeat offenders simply because they are more accustomed to prison life than freedom."
"So, if my quest is to know Him, I must recognize this about Him: Jesus loves people - all people, especially those society ignores. Therefore I must know exactly how far He would travel for men, for that is the same distance He would journey again through me. Indeed, I must know His thoughts concerning illness, poverty, and human suffering. As his servant, I am useless to Him unless I know these things. If I would actually do His will, I must truly know His heart."
"It is only the pure in heart that perceive God."
[pure in heart = an undivided heart focused on what God desires.
"As you mature in the Lord, a time will come when Christ will begin to reveal Himself to you as He is (John 14:21). Such encounters with the Living One are often alarming and full of dread. Do not be misled by so-called religious experiences published by man, where flowers and baby angels unveil a docile shepherd from Heaven. We are seeking the God of the Scriptures! Every man who truly met the Lord Jesus Christ was filled with fear and great trembling. Nowhere in the Bible do we see anyone who was no "as a dead man" before the glorified Lord (Job 42; Isaiah 6, Ezekiel 1; Revelation 1).
"As far as sin is concerned, we must grasp the completed work of Christ. 'Having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ' (Romans 5:1). From God's eternal perspective, we are freed from sin. It is here in the realm of time, and specifically in our minds, where sin still has a temporary hold. In His great love, however, God is removing even the barriers our sins have created between Himself and us."
"The Lord did not cease being when the New Testament began; His nature did not change. When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He began with 'Hallowed be Thy name.' If we would truly know Him as He is, we need an Old Testament fear of the Lord combined with the New Testament experience of His grace."
"Many Christians look for shortcuts to the power of God. To try shortcuts is to become, at best, frustrated; at worst, a false teacher or prophet. Listen very carefully: there is tremendous power for us in God but not without holiness. Holiness precedes power."
"The Word of the Lord, united with the Holy Spirit, is the vehicle of our transformation into the image of Christ."
"The Word is God. The Scriptures are not God, but the Spirit that breathes through the words is God."
[Reading to read? you may miss it. Through prayer, God leads the reading.]
"But without repentance, faith is held hostage by the lawlessness of sin."
"Repentance always precedes the coming forth of the living Christ in a person's life. To 'prepare and 'make ready' is the purpose of repentance. Let us be sure we understand: John's repentance did not merely make men sorry; it made men ready. True repentance is to turn over the soil of the heart for a new planting of concepts and directives. It is a vital aspect in the overall sphere of spiritual maturity. To truly change your mind takes time and effort. John's command to the Jews was to 'bear fruit in keeping with your repentance' (Matthew 3:8). Let us realize that repentance is not over until fruit is brought forth. In effect, John was saying, 'Cease not your turning away from pride until you delight in lowliness. Continue repenting of selfishness until love is natural to you. Do not stop mourning your impurities until you are pure.' He demanded me keep with repentance until fruit was manifested. And if you will be holy, you will continue in repentance until you are holy."

Oh there is so much more in this book. I highly recommend it - but only with scripture reading. I have been so convicted of how much time I spend reading about the Word and how little time I spend reading the Word.

So there it is. Continue in repentance until fruit overflows and love comes naturally. So that is what I will do...

Precious Father in Heaven who has bought my soul with the blood of Your Son, Jesus: Forgive me for the continued selfishness of my heart. Father forgive me for my hypocrisy - standing in judgment of others lack of fruit when my own life has been devoid of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and most obviously SELF CONTROL! Father forgive me for seeking self satisfaction at the expense of others. Father forgive me for always seeking the easy road, in finances, friendships, holiness and within my marriage. For so many more things hidden deep in my heart, burn them out in the same way that impurities are heated for removal from precious metal. May I seek only to praise You in the good days and the bad, when I "feel it" and when I don't. Thank you for your everlasting grace and mercy. Amen.